There are things I want to say to each and every person I’ve had some type of relationship with. But here are just a few. I won’t name names, and these aren’t in chronological order.

 

Person #1: I don’t hold anything against you. I was young and even though you were older you were young at heart, you didn’t know what you wanted and I did. Even though things went sour I still have to say you beat that confidence into me you wanted me to have. I still think of you from time to time, especially when I see a bumblebee.

 

Person #2: I don’t know if you consider me an ex girlfriend or just a fling but I just wanted to say that you restored my ability to smile. I was damaged and you made me feel desirable. Thanks for that. However life gave you a second chance and you ran away from it. You thought you had something better going for you so you choose that, I can respect that however I can’t respect how you toy with my emotions. You say or did things that made my heart skip a beat, you did it just to see if I still cared about you. Of course I did. But now I see you just like feeling important, desired, and are in love with the idea of “love”. I guess that didn’t work out too well for you when she broke up with you and wont even give you the time of day. Now you know how it feels. Honestly I think your just as damaged as I once was.  In the end I still can have no ill feelings towards you no matter how hard I try. I just wanted you to be crazy about me like I was about you. I’ve moved on now, but I cant help but wonder if you ever think of me and what those thoughts contain. I think I will always think of you, even in my last moments.

 

Person #3: You are an idiot. You never deserved me, ever. I don’t even know how we stayed together so long. We really didn’t even have anything in common or want the same things in life.  I suspect that you will always be the way you were, you will never really “change”. Stop asking to have any sort of contact with me. You truly made me hate you, and hate is a strong word. I despise you, and want nothing to do with you. Im trying to forget your existence, our relationship almost seems like a distant memory, past life, ive gotten so good at blocking you out of my memory that I really can’t even remember what you look like.

 



Person #4: Although we were never “technically together” I learned a lot about dating, I learned to toughen up as well. I also learned having things in common doesn’t equate to happily ever after. You were good looking and talented but not meant for me, you made me realize I shouldn’t apologize for being me, just because I wasn’t what you wanted didn’t me I wasn’t desirable. You were sweet and I hope you are happy wherever you are. You made me look forward to going to work.

 

Person # 5 : You are handsome even when you sleep. You love me when Im grumpy and know how to handle me when Im angry which is no easy task. You have softened my once hardened heart. You restored my faith in men and make me feel like if I cant have it all then that’s ok because I still ended up with the best and what counts the most, I will live happily ever after even if your all I got because that’s all I want. I adore you and you have made me a better person. 

 

Morals, Faith, Philosophies, Politics, etc. Most of us have experienced or read about someone else being attacked and practically persecuted for being different, thinking differently, or dare to believe differently than the attacker. 

 

This problem seems to be very prevalent in today’s society.  Maybe its due to the main stream media flashing stories at us when we drink our morning coffee, or maybe its due to mainstream communications such as social media that gives individuals there own personal soap box to provoke responses. However, anymore I feel several posts are to provoke arguments or to attack other users, making users feel the need to defend themselves.  It often is an ugly affair, showing peoples true colors, which often seem to be dark.

 

No matter what topic that is posted on,  the problem is that individuals each have their own interpretation of text, which can be way off base of the author’s intent. Often the responses are bursts of anger and misunderstandings, while few are constructive and healthy. But then again I fully believe some users posts purposely to provoke, which we all have the right to speak what we wish or belief what we wish, however I’m growing weary of people attacking others for not being in concurrence with their own beliefs.  I am happy to have a place that we can express ourselves with no reserves but don’t abuse the right, or attack someone who doesn’t stand in the same place as you. I do my best to express my own beliefs, morals, faith, philosophies in a statement, not in an offensive way to where one feels challenged and feels the need to defend themselves. I enjoy hearing feedback and sharing thoughts, but I try to be respectful when representing my own perspectives in life.  Why can’t we just engage in conversations and even if we don’t agree we can respect each other’s right to have their own stance. Just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we are wrong or bad people; we are just uniquely different and should be able to converse our different opinions without offense.  

 

This goes beyond mainstream social media, it is a problem in today’s daily society. Many are being persecuted for having their own stance on a topic, or daring to voice that stance. I strongly believe in the freedom of speech, but apparently society believes in freedom of speech as long as you keep your voice down, because if it is against what they believe, you will be persecuted for it. Mums the word. 

I love flopping into bed letting my wet hair sprawl over the pillow and turning towards my fiancé and letting my thoughts spill out. My fiancé however is not so fond of my late night talks mixed with loopy giddiness or frowning frustrations. I love talking late at night in bed. I keep quiet most of the day or file thoughts away but those moments before I lay my head down for sleep I have a strong desire to empty my brain so I can have a peaceful sleep.  I’m always on the go and always fixing others problems that its just nonstop cleaning up others messes that I don’t share how I feel, I go around pretending everything is fine, but at night, exhaustion mixed with the days troubles is a recipe for pouring out ones heart; otherwise I think I’d go insane. 

I can’t help but smirk when my parent’s discuss their children’s dating life. My father always starts off by complaining about one of my sister’s and my self’s partner and then goes into flashbacks of “I liked (insert name here”) and my mother returning a frowned response with “what’s the matter with you!” meaning the guy was a complete jerk. My father is clueless. I’m not particularly the sharing type about my relationships when im in them, usually the behind the scenes look comes when it all went to Hell in a gift-wrapped basket. This conversation between my divorced parents made me flashback to some of the men I’ve had the experience of crossing paths with; shall we walk down memory lane? 

1.  The Irish (aka The Lover not a Fighter) :  I’m a sucker for Irish men but  this was not a “PS I LOVE YOU story.” This was a handsome charming Irish man with a name I couldn’t pronounce to save my life. He was intriguing but full disclosure was not his forte, it was his ex whom he was apparently still sleeping with. I had no intentions of being the dirty mistress so needless to say it didn’t work out. He was older than me but ironically I was the adult in that scenario and told him to take a hike.

2. Art (aka The Casual Dater): I was never really that serious with Art, we went on a few dates, had a lot in common but he was looking for “one of the guys” kind of gal, not the “Jessie’s girl” gal. If the ball cap doesn’t fit…well you get the idea.

3. Goa Stalker (aka The Addict): The one my father liked. I dated Goa Stalker for a few years, sure I could almost hear the wedding bells if he hadn’t been such a pot head, pill popping wash it down with liquor with a snort of cocaine for desert kind of guy. Not to mention the ankle bracelet that limited our outings putting a damper on things, imagine that.  Plus the sex was terrible. So the one my dad approved of “hes nice, laid back, I like good ol Goa” was the most dysfunctional of them all that I have dated! He still lives with his mother too! Mommas Boy! Oh did I mention he’s a stalker, I had to change my phone number, change my address and block him in cyber world. I was moments away from a restraining order, still considering it.

4. Wolf (aka No Strings Attached ): This was the one I didn’t plan on falling for, but did. We briefly had a thing over the summer, after my demise with Goa Stalker, so it was great to be able to know what smiling felt like again. I got caught up in his passion, he could do no wrong in my eyes, I just wanted to be his. He was easy to get lost in, but that was the problem, I had fallen but no one was there to catch me.  I really loved this one but it just wasn’t in the cards I guess, he seemed to lean more towards the girls who didn’t know what they wanted, lost causes. It was nice while it lasted. I dated one guy after him then gave up on dating.

5. Converse (aka The Wild One): This is the one that I met while in my protest against dating. I had been enjoying the single life and had no intentions on taking up dating again, but fate or something like that had other plans along with a sense of humor. This good-looking Irish man was all sorts of rugged with a tall stature to forecast a shadow over my small frame, but I didn’t mind staring up into those green mischievous eyes. Ironically his friends tried to block him from getting my number but he was resourceful and was able to get a hold of me, and it was all over from then on. I quickly fell in love with this charming party boy. He fit the profile, tall, Irish, green eyes, artistic, wild, etc… I didn’t have a chance. Haha, im glad though, it was the best decision my heart ever made.

These are just a few snip its from my dating experiences although I took the liberty of nicknames because Im nice like that. So how about yours? Share an experience.

I don’t need a survey, research, no empirical evidence necessary. I’ve seen it with my own  two eyes. Women date assholes like it’s their job. Why do men and women but especially women date jerks? In my experience I have had many friends or family date complete assholes, and they keep going back for more! I have always been that woman who said enough is enough I’m not taking your crap but many of those near and dear to me take it with a silver spoon! These guys are treating them poorly, disrespect them or their family; they get away with all sorts of crap. Yet women go weak in the knees for them each time they spew their lies and promise they will change or that they are sorry.

Sure in the beginning this guy is charming, fun, exciting and makes you feel golden but in reality he is chauvinistic, arrogant and selfish to the max. He is an asshole.

Maybe women are looking for the take charge, challenge them mans man kind of guy but just find these assholes. Every girl loves an assertive man. The guy who makes the first move with confidence, who can be unpredictable and take you passionately. I love a man who is passionate.

On other hand I feel that some, just some, not all of them, just do not have their act together or have major self esteem issues or are very immature & inexperienced. Women, who are more mature and expe­ri­enced, with high-self esteem, and femi­nine confi­dence, can spot these childish behavior miles away and won’t usually tolerate it. But I am talking about the women (or men) who continue to go back to the same asshole. Most of us are looking at this guy thinking what an asshole he is! He is so immature, selfish, rude, etc etc..! But the woman dating him doesn’t see that version of him. Usually she doesn’t see this version until later in the relationship, when there has been a history established, attachments, dependencies, and mostly comfort. I think most women are comfortable or scared to be alone so they stay in their misery, instead of standing up for what they deserve. It is much easier to stay with the familiar then to venture into the unknown and change.

Now for the defense of assholes and jerks every­where, it’s impor­tant to know that these char­acter extremes are often uncon­scious compen­sa­tions for a lack of some­thing else (and I don’t neces­sarily mean down there). No they weren’t born assholes although sometimes you do wonder; they adopt these traits in order to best adapt to their lives’ expe­ri­ences. That being said, we can see these guys are only doing this because that is what they know, they live what they learn. Do not try to save or change this man, or woman! It will NOT work. The only person who can decide that is them, so it is a lost cause, save yourself the grief.

And nice guys who say nice guys finish last. You know why? Because nice guys are afraid of women. They rarely go up to the woman and ask her out. That’s why they finish last, they don’t exude that confidence like the asshole does. Yes yes there are good men out there; I have proof since I am blessed with being with one. He is confident, passionate, funny, talented, good in bed, fun, charming, smart, everyone loves him, and above all he loves me to no end. So yes girls and boys, the good ones do exist, but you have to get rid of the bad egg you have first to find them! Stop going back to that same asshole, or don’t be afraid of asking someone out! Go after what you want, all they can say is no in some sort of phrase but you know what? It is not the end of the universe as we know it; it just means something better matched for you is still out there waiting for you to find them!

So women stop dating those assholes like it is your job! And good guys just ask her out, she might surprise you and say she’s been waiting a long time for you to ask! Or vice versa, guys stop dating bitches, girls go after that handsome nerdy boy, he usually is the one with a heart of gold. The point is, go after what you want, don’t let anyone treat you like your dirt, and don’t ignore those who try to tell you something about someone your dating, they often see what you don’t, keep an open mind, but for crying out loud, stop stop STOP dating the asshole, or bitch. You DESERVE better!

thesaurus for SONYA: sonia sonja love sexy awesome amazing beautiful

1. Sonya A confident, outgoing and sexy woman. Sonyas are warm, humorous and bright. Sonyas always have a twinkle in their eye and know the best dirty jokes. Sonyas love adventure and know how to have a good time. “Wow, what an interesting woman, she’s a real (Sonya)”.

2. Sonya’s are the most beautiful with the most lucious lips and sparkling pretty eyes. You r lucky to have a Sonya like you. You r luckier to have a Sonya date you. Sonyas are where its at but are so rare to find. You r so lucky. You have a Sonya. I’m jealous!

3. Sonya. She is the epitome of hotness. A volouptuous and curvy girl with a gentle personality and a distinct laugh. A very loyal friend and true to her word. She is a dreamer and loves to fantasize about traveling, romance and adventures! Sonya has a beautiful soul and brilliant eyes.

4. Sonya. A beautiful, gorgeous, awesome girl. She’s amazing!

5. Sonya. The sexiest girl in the whole wide world, and creator of Sonyanese.

AND FOR KICKS HERE IS MY FIANCE’S NAME

1. Kaden

A Mans name meaning “fighter” it is a original name with a unique spelling that is becoming very popular.

 

1. Kaden will kick your ass, he is a natural born fighter!

2. Better watch out, he is a Kaden, he’ll mess you up!

 

2. Kaden

A bad ass mothfucker that could kick anyones ass all day. kaden is usally a cool and funny guy who has many friends while some might not be so nice to him Kaden will offer his friendship to anyone because he is this that cool of a guy. Kadens are way cooler then mikes.

 

3. Kaden

He is a cute, fun loving guy with a great personality!(: He makes everybody laugh no matter what mood there in. He has girls all over him at school because he`s such a babe! He is also a really great kisser. He`s sporty and has lots of friends. He likes brunette girls ! You fall in love with him right when you meet him

Hahaha, these made me laugh, comment and share what urbandictionary.com said about your name!

 

Please silence your cell phones now. It seems everywhere you go someone is on there phone, it is practically glued to their ear. You can not even go to the bathroom without hearing people talking on their phones and hearing the person beside them respond thinking the person is talking to them but no, they are on their cellular phone. I used to see people talking and think “are they talking to themselves?” but no, the bluetooth headset had come out.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my Iphone as much as the next person, but is it really necessary to take it with you to the bathroom? One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to cell phones is dinner. When I am out to dinner with someone, especially my fiancé, for the love of God put the phone away! It will still be there in an hour or however long dinner lasts. Sure I may check into a resturant for my facebook but then I put my phone in my purse for safekeeping. I find playing on your phone, texting, etc…Extremely rude while you’re visiting with someone. Yes we are all guilty of this but just try to think about how it makes you feel when you’re spilling your guts to someone, or even telling them about your day and they are all involved in their phone instead of your conversation. Aggravating isn’t it?

I also recently started an office job doing medical scanning and documentation quality checks, and so forth. I was told I could bring my phone to work or my Ipod if I wished, which I thought “That’s awesome! This is going to be great!” While I thoroughly enjoy my ear buds and the tunes flowing into my ears; I do not enjoy my table vibrating from the person beside me’s phone. Basically every twenty minutes I hear a vibration from my surrounding coworkers. While I am certain that text message is super important and the world’s fate depends upon you reading it and texting back would it kill you to do some work? Having the luxury of your phone is wonderful it does not mean slack off and get paid to text instead of doing what you were hired for. Nothing annoys me more than me doing all the work and my coworkers just sitting on their butts all day. Either way they get paid but what happened to having pride in your work, pride in doing a great job? What is with this lazy, cellular phone, texting nation?

What are your thoughts, pet peeves on cellular phones today?

The monotomy of going into work everyday and doing the same thing over and over again tends to make your mind wonder, along with your eyes. Don’t get me wrong, the repetition is not what is bothering me, its where my eyes tend to fall. I know the work place is not your home but have a little pride. Sitting in a sea of clutter and little bits of trash just gives me the disgusting shudders. My neighboring coworker has a minture landfill going on; napkins, sticky notes, a cup, about thirty hot sauce packets from good old taco bell, chapstick, lotion, great value water flavoring, tape, markers, and the list goes on, along with staples and tiny bits of paper that have fallen off the files we deal with. The guy across is just super disorganised and has the same bits of paper and dust particles everywhere. Is cleaning and organization becoming a lost art people?

I do not know if its the upcoming generations or if it is just the world that is getting lazy. This thought occurs to me repeatedly at such moments when people say “bless you” or “morning”. Are we so lazy that we have to shorten phrases, why not say “god bless you” unless your just not a religious person, or “good morning.” To simply say morning provokes a response from me such as “yes, yes it is morning.” Also we have become lazy even in our speech, instead of saying “How are you doing today?” it became “what’s up” to simply “sup”. Further more, some people do not even attempt to learn proper pronunciation, instead they just mock each other and laugh it off like it does not matter. Language does matter. Grammar does too for that matter. I am definitely not the grammar queen, and it was not my best subject in school but when people purposely use improper grammar or acronyms it tends to make the hair on my neck stand a bit. I am guilty of all such things I am sure, but I am telling myself to be more aware. I tell myself if you act, write, or talk that way you come across as unintelligent or immature. I mean how many LOLS does one person really need to use in one paragraph? Most agree that LOL means laughing out loud but if you were to say that to someone who is from another country they may have a different interpretation. Go ahead, google acronym and LOL, it is quite comical. You get anything from laugh out loud to lots of licking! Even forgetting a coma or semi colon can give a different message, you could say something you really did not mean at all! Good grammar expresses true meaning of your words. I certaintly am not the queen of verbs, nouns, pronouns or anything of the sort; all I am saying is just proof read and please do not purposely butcher your language. Food for thought, becareful of your words, grammar and speech. Think before you speak, or write.

Recently my beloved automobile decided she couldn’t go any further and died. I was forced to go buy a new car, a sexy sexy dodge avenger steel blue, its a bute. However I nearly went into cardiac arrest when I was quoted a price for license plates. A few hundred dollars for a small metal ugly blue plate that says my car is legal on the pothole riddled roads of Indiana. Not being in a position to argue I reluctantly paid the fees and grumbled when handed a white piece of paper and was told my precious expensive hunk of metal would be arriving in the postal mail in fourteen days. As the lady quickly shoed me away as it was near closing time I pondered the fees. It would seem that as a consumer, tax paying citizen that I should not be punished with huge fees for purchasing a new vehicle but rather rewarded! I should be paying less for my plates seeing how I am stimulating the economy with my large purchase, helping out the small bank I financed with not to mention I’m putting a safer automobile on the road so am less of a hazard! Instead of being rewarded for my good deeds I am given a huge bill for plates. I digress and contemplated that the newer the car the cheaper your plates should be, as a reward, and the older and more dangerous your car then the more expensive they should be! Your a moving hazard! A moving target! Get that POS off the road! Of course seeing how some people have an old vehicle just because they can’t afford a new one I did come up with a compromise; have a standard fee! It shouldn’t cost me more because I have a newer safer car, and it shouldn’t cost you more or less because you can’t afford a newer car or because you car is “outdated.” In conclusion, the fees the BMV charges is preposterous, what are your thoughts?

Here I am, stumbling around Tumblr. I am not the most tech savvy when it comes to online blogging. I suppose its due to my old fashioned nature of writing with a pen and paper, and not meticulously typing away at a glowing screen. But here I am. This could be a wild success or a major clusterfuck, only time will tell.