There are things I want to say to each and every person I’ve had some type of relationship with. But here are just a few. I won’t name names, and these aren’t in chronological order.

Person #1: I don’t hold anything against you. I was young and even though you were older you were young at heart, you didn’t know what you wanted and I did. Even though things went sour I still have to say you beat that confidence into me you wanted me to have. I still think of you from time to time, especially when I see a bumblebee.

Person #2: I don’t know if you consider me an ex girlfriend or just a fling but I just wanted to say that you restored my ability to smile. I was damaged and you made me feel desirable. Thanks for that. However life gave you a second chance and you ran away from it. You thought you had something better going for you so you choose that, I can respect that however I can’t respect how you toy with my emotions. You say or did things that made my heart skip a beat, you did it just to see if I still cared about you. Of course I did. But now I see you just like feeling important, desired, and are in love with the idea of “love”. I guess that didn’t work out too well for you when she broke up with you and wont even give you the time of day. Now you know how it feels. Honestly I think your just as damaged as I once was.  In the end I still can have no ill feelings towards you no matter how hard I try. I just wanted you to be crazy about me like I was about you. I’ve moved on now, but I cant help but wonder if you ever think of me and what those thoughts contain. I think I will always think of you, even in my last moments.

Person #3: You are an idiot. You never deserved me, ever. I don’t even know how we stayed together so long. We really didn’t even have anything in common or want the same things in life.  I suspect that you will always be the way you were, you will never really “change”. Stop asking to have any sort of contact with me. You truly made me hate you, and hate is a strong word. I despise you, and want nothing to do with you. Im trying to forget your existence, our relationship almost seems like a distant memory, past life, ive gotten so good at blocking you out of my memory that I really can’t even remember what you look like.



Person #4: Although we were never “technically together” I learned a lot about dating, I learned to toughen up as well. I also learned having things in common doesn’t equate to happily ever after. You were good looking and talented but not meant for me, you made me realize I shouldn’t apologize for being me, just because I wasn’t what you wanted didn’t me I wasn’t desirable. You were sweet and I hope you are happy wherever you are. You made me look forward to going to work.

Person # 5 : You are handsome even when you sleep. You love me when Im grumpy and know how to handle me when Im angry which is no easy task. You have softened my once hardened heart. You restored my faith in men and make me feel like if I cant have it all then that’s ok because I still ended up with the best and what counts the most, I will live happily ever after even if your all I got because that’s all I want. I adore you and you have made me a better person. 

Morals, Faith, Philosophies, Politics, etc. Most of us have experienced or read about someone else being attacked and practically persecuted for being different, thinking differently, or dare to believe differently than the attacker. 

This problem seems to be very prevalent in today’s society.  Maybe its due to the main stream media flashing stories at us when we drink our morning coffee, or maybe its due to mainstream communications such as social media that gives individuals there own personal soap box to provoke responses. However, anymore I feel several posts are to provoke arguments or to attack other users, making users feel the need to defend themselves.  It often is an ugly affair, showing peoples true colors, which often seem to be dark.

No matter what topic that is posted on,  the problem is that individuals each have their own interpretation of text, which can be way off base of the author’s intent. Often the responses are bursts of anger and misunderstandings, while few are constructive and healthy. But then again I fully believe some users posts purposely to provoke, which we all have the right to speak what we wish or belief what we wish, however I’m growing weary of people attacking others for not being in concurrence with their own beliefs.  I am happy to have a place that we can express ourselves with no reserves but don’t abuse the right, or attack someone who doesn’t stand in the same place as you. I do my best to express my own beliefs, morals, faith, philosophies in a statement, not in an offensive way to where one feels challenged and feels the need to defend themselves. I enjoy hearing feedback and sharing thoughts, but I try to be respectful when representing my own perspectives in life.  Why can’t we just engage in conversations and even if we don’t agree we can respect each other’s right to have their own stance. Just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we are wrong or bad people; we are just uniquely different and should be able to converse our different opinions without offense.  

This goes beyond mainstream social media, it is a problem in today’s daily society. Many are being persecuted for having their own stance on a topic, or daring to voice that stance. I strongly believe in the freedom of speech, but apparently society believes in freedom of speech as long as you keep your voice down, because if it is against what they believe, you will be persecuted for it. Mums the word. 

I love flopping into bed letting my wet hair sprawl over the pillow and turning towards my fiancé and letting my thoughts spill out. My fiancé however is not so fond of my late night talks mixed with loopy giddiness or frowning frustrations. I love talking late at night in bed. I keep quiet most of the day or file thoughts away but those moments before I lay my head down for sleep I have a strong desire to empty my brain so I can have a peaceful sleep.  I’m always on the go and always fixing others problems that its just nonstop cleaning up others messes that I don’t share how I feel, I go around pretending everything is fine, but at night, exhaustion mixed with the days troubles is a recipe for pouring out ones heart; otherwise I think I’d go insane. 

I can’t help but smirk when my parent’s discuss their children’s dating life. My father always starts off by complaining about one of my sister’s and my self’s partner and then goes into flashbacks of “I liked (insert name here”) and my mother returning a frowned response with “what’s the matter with you!” meaning the guy was a complete jerk. My father is clueless. I’m not particularly the sharing type about my relationships when im in them, usually the behind the scenes look comes when it all went to Hell in a gift-wrapped basket. This conversation between my divorced parents made me flashback to some of the men I’ve had the experience of crossing paths with; shall we walk down memory lane? 

1.  The Irish (aka The Lover not a Fighter) :  I’m a sucker for Irish men but  this was not a “PS I LOVE YOU story.” This was a handsome charming Irish man with a name I couldn’t pronounce to save my life. He was intriguing but full disclosure was not his forte, it was his ex whom he was apparently still sleeping with. I had no intentions of being the dirty mistress so needless to say it didn’t work out. He was older than me but ironically I was the adult in that scenario and told him to take a hike.

2. Art (aka The Casual Dater): I was never really that serious with Art, we went on a few dates, had a lot in common but he was looking for “one of the guys” kind of gal, not the “Jessie’s girl” gal. If the ball cap doesn’t fit…well you get the idea.

3. Goa Stalker (aka The Addict): The one my father liked. I dated Goa Stalker for a few years, sure I could almost hear the wedding bells if he hadn’t been such a pot head, pill popping wash it down with liquor with a snort of cocaine for desert kind of guy. Not to mention the ankle bracelet that limited our outings putting a damper on things, imagine that.  Plus the sex was terrible. So the one my dad approved of “hes nice, laid back, I like good ol Goa” was the most dysfunctional of them all that I have dated! He still lives with his mother too! Mommas Boy! Oh did I mention he’s a stalker, I had to change my phone number, change my address and block him in cyber world. I was moments away from a restraining order, still considering it.

4. Wolf (aka No Strings Attached ): This was the one I didn’t plan on falling for, but did. We briefly had a thing over the summer, after my demise with Goa Stalker, so it was great to be able to know what smiling felt like again. I got caught up in his passion, he could do no wrong in my eyes, I just wanted to be his. He was easy to get lost in, but that was the problem, I had fallen but no one was there to catch me.  I really loved this one but it just wasn’t in the cards I guess, he seemed to lean more towards the girls who didn’t know what they wanted, lost causes. It was nice while it lasted. I dated one guy after him then gave up on dating.

5. Converse (aka The Wild One): This is the one that I met while in my protest against dating. I had been enjoying the single life and had no intentions on taking up dating again, but fate or something like that had other plans along with a sense of humor. This good-looking Irish man was all sorts of rugged with a tall stature to forecast a shadow over my small frame, but I didn’t mind staring up into those green mischievous eyes. Ironically his friends tried to block him from getting my number but he was resourceful and was able to get a hold of me, and it was all over from then on. I quickly fell in love with this charming party boy. He fit the profile, tall, Irish, green eyes, artistic, wild, etc… I didn’t have a chance. Haha, im glad though, it was the best decision my heart ever made.

These are just a few snip its from my dating experiences although I took the liberty of nicknames because Im nice like that. So how about yours? Share an experience.